What Men Want More Than Sex

   Do you remember when Facebook quizzes were all over the place? Maybe they still are, but there was one titled “Reasons to be Single” which had you select what you considered to be pros to being single. I was about to do the survey when I realized that all of the options it presented either contradicted my reasons for wanting to be married, were immoral, or were just plain stupid. Some of the options said things like “being able to flirt with whoever,” or “freedom to casually date anybody,” and “Not having to worry about, take care of or share with your partner.”

   I have heard it said that the one thing a man wants even more than sex is to exert his strength. That is so true for me but not in the way that I think the speaker was talking about. What that strength is to me is the ability to give everything I can for, serve and love the one and only girl for me, with all of my heart. By God’s grace I have the capacity and strength to do all of that, but because I am single I can’t exert that strength yet.

Or can I?...


   Maybe I haven’t even met my wife yet. But I know she is out there, and I love her. I LOVE HER. That’s weird. How can I love someone I don’t know? Hmm. Well… I know that when I am married I will put her above any other human in existence. Even myself. I can start now. That means that I can exert my strength by foregoing pleasures and intimacy that so many people throw around and are left with nothing to offer their bride. My wedding vows to my wife don’t just take effect when I say, “I do.” They are retroactive and I am bound to live by them until I die. Though I haven’t even written vows yet, I already know what they include, “Not only will you be my one-and-only from now on, but every day leading up till now I have been yours and yours alone.”

“When you are single you have nothing to lose.”

   That is supposed to be a pro to being single. Sounds good doesn’t it? Not for me. How can I exert my strength if I do nothing requiring that I lay everything on the line? I look forward to doing that daily not only in my pursuit of my wife but also in my pursuit of Christ. I am comparing my relationship with my wife to my relationship with Jesus. Ephesians 5:25 is a commandment that I am dying to perform. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…”

“Being single gives you time to focus on your career.“

   I’d like to rephrase that and say that focusing on your career is time not spent focusing on your wife, which happens to be category of time that I look forward to the most. Don’t get me wrong; I do feel called to a certain career and will do the best I can at pursuing it and making the most out of my singleness.

   Being single is easy. It requires no effort. No giving up of yourself. You might even have a significant other you are living with but really the only thing that is at stake is your emotions and maybe some lost time. It may be very easy to fulfill your desires with little risk and much accessibility but what value is there in that?

   You should be familiar with the concept of supply and demand. When something is in abundance it is very cheap. When it is rare and requires work, it is esteemed and treasured. It is protected and even fought over. My beautiful sisters, I encourage you to make yourselves rare. Price yourself at what you are worth. Require that you be fought for. You know what else happens when something comes at a high price? Not just anyone can afford it anymore. Only those who are willing to do what is necessary are worthy of acquiring it. I have learned from experience that anything worth pursuing is worth any setback that comes with pursuing it. I know now never to let any bump in the road stop me.

   This is what I want even more than sex: To be able to conquer any challenge and do whatever it takes to show you, my wife-to-be, that I love you.

   "Not only will you be my one-and-only from now on, but every day leading up till now I have been yours and yours alone."

For more on this subject, I recommend you read these remarkable articles by two of my good friends. Get two great female perspectives:
Saving Sex for Marriage by Jami Jensen
and Cheap and Easy by CaterpillarsToButterflies